The Thing Called Life

The Thing Called Life

I remember myself as a child growing up
Enjoying playing with my dolls
Playing house with my sisters and Michelle
Hopscotch, jump rope,
Going to the park with my sisters and my step father
Always brought a joy, I still see myself laughing
Behaving silly or as we say giggling
I still have that
But in a different way
It is how I am enjoying life
The best way I can
I remember always wanting to be wife, mother
I always wanted to be mother because of how
My mother showed and shared my to me and my sisters
I remember her waking me up in the morning and she would touch
My face, soft and kiss me on my cheek even as adult living in my family house
It made me feel special, loved it brings me tears to my heart now because
I treasure that so much…………………….
I have always dreamed of being a mother
Sharing a birth of a child
First telling my mate/husband
That I am having a baby
I can remember when we conceived and how now I became pregnant for you
I am 35 we have a house a job we are working things out together
As team
Loving this man because how he treated me how he makes me laugh
Does not put me down but we are each others equal
I tell him he is going to be a father
He is glowing, he is happy
We go and tell my parents and my mother and my step father
They are so happy, I tell my best friend Brian, Wendy Francine and they are jumping
Up and down I think they are more excited about it than me.
We tell his family, we tell his friends, Mark and Keith
We go to the doctors together
We cook together
We make love
We fight
But we always know how to reach back to each other
We are at the mall together taking a walk and through this time
You see me and I have this baby growing inside of me
My co-workers are treating me and seeing how happy I am
I get to wear the maternity clothes
Eat weird foods more
He laughs with me
And he cries with me
Then it is time the doctor tells us we are going to have a little girl
Me I am going to be a mother, wife, best friend to this world
Is this a dream come true yes?
I am in the delivery room with my husband
I am pushing having this baby
He is at my side
The baby comes to be a beautiful, healthy, happy loving baby girl
Her name is Rose Alexandra 7lbs 5 ounces born on April 4
But life had a change of heart for me
I had suffered so much half my life with menstruation
That it got so bad I had fibroids
Had two surgeries before ever feeling healthy again
And then the doctors tells me I the fibroids is growing too much in me
At the age of 44 I had to have hysterectomy it was the best for my health
But I still dream that I can have a baby
A child
But thing I look at most is all my friends children
How they look at me and how I get that hug, kiss from a child
And how it makes you feel special
Of course children can sometimes be as real but we as adults
Have to guide them to be sensitive, caring towards others
Always feel children are the most beautiful creatures that we can make
They are like mini us in so many ways.
One day they are walking, running
And driving us parents crazy but we are enjoying ever moment of it.
I have a special friend
He is recently divorce when he talks about his children
It is like the sun has shine 300 degrees you can see, feel the joy
He has for those kids and how he explains the different personalities each of them have
The skills, they have how they are all learning different, but most of all
Loving him as their father
This is what brings me joy, more than anything
I am May not be a parent physically but I am emotionally
To many children, friends, children, cousins, I am a mentor to kids it brings me such a joy
I do not feeling I am missing out on anything but I still feeling they are our rug rats but at the same time the love we have for children.

Peace………………………

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